many happy and joyous occasions have happened throughout these few weeks together with depressing moments..think next year's workload is going to be extremely crazy..the initial post i typed during workplan shall not be revealed due to various circumstances..however..just to note..my sch is not a drama sch..so not everything must to do with drama and not say you are going to run those programmes wad..luckily she does not read my blog argh..

happier note..aesthetics camp is over! it was a good camp with students requesting for more days..think it was a good idea to make everyone do different performing arts group tasks..truly enjoyed myself with the exception of sleep..next year i'm going home to have some peaceful sleep for a few hours at least!haha..to another great year of aesthetics and more to come:)

8:50 PM

     
taking a walk alone at 3am was a really bad idea..while combing the area where i was suppose to check on students to ensure they were students, i took a slow walk with the intention of some fresh cold air that is different from the morning/afternoon horrible air n sun..however, it can't be done..as i took that walk, i am remembered of many things that i didn't want to..sad memories that will never become happy ones again..sometimes the harsh reality sinks in that he is somehow gone from my life n never returning back..its almost 2 years already but it still lingers here n there..why does it always have to end this way, i always ask myself..couldn't there be a better solution to this?can't imagine just a short walk made me feel insecure and i had to take the walk back to the staffroom where everyone seems to be able to sleep except me..

there was an episode earlier during dinner where another teacher raised her voice at me..all i could do was control..why every since the breakup have i became more timid?sigh..is being friends that difficult now?

3:42 AM

     
after doing all the work for aesthetics camp, i suddenly do not feel like going for it..as i looked at the programme i felt even worst..my stupid phone was ringing non stop the entire day..all sort of weird students asked stupid questions and i wonder why is it directed to me and not the camp OIC/2nd OIC..n while i was talking to the other teachers at night i didn't realise that some of them didn't feel like going also..everyone kept saying about the programme..what is wrong with it?!n also i might have made some admin mistakes in the programme booklet which i'm not sure n it will be too late to change it tmr..gosh i'm getting lousy at it..its at this time i am feeling so grumpy n just wanna hide under the table n sleep now..

11:03 PM

     
invincible..thats the word..the thought of not sleeping well at night irritates me greatly..as i came to work super early this morning, n the empty staffroom awaits me, i was so exhausted i wanted to just crumble down on the floor to take a nap..headed to my desk n just prop my head down on the table..everyone streamed in and the whole room became ignorant to me..anyway my work review yesterday didn't went as well as i hoped..to me what the point of a high PB if you wont get promoted?right?i dunno..

8:20 AM

     
A few days ago, i had to give a short presentation to all the teachers n heads..it was a scary encounter as questions will be thrown to you and you have to be quick to think on the spot..for ppl who know me you would know sometimes i take really long to think an answer though surprisingly i could think on the spot that day and answered the required questions..during the presentation, a question was thrown to one of the teacher on 'what is aesthetics'..a simple and accurate answer was given but then later i saw these sophisticated quotes haha..







10:45 AM

     
think today is an emotionally draining day..went for a meeting in the morning where the terms used were complicating..person sitting on my left was grouchy..person sitting on my right disappeared after a while..so i did my work on my laptop from 8-4 until my back was hurting so badly..came back feeling so drained but have to edit some report for tmr's presentation n talking to min about something made all the raw emotions open again..tmr is going to be a long day again..

9:12 PM