as i received the disappointing news in the mailer today, i told various ppl about the results of it..and its amazing to see the different responses to them..i read simple and touching smses, politically correct smses, straight-forward n frank smses n i just sat on the chair in my exhausted state and stoned..i stared at a blank space for quite a while..guess in our everyday live there is always some kind of disappointment..n i guess God is testing me..well i will be busy in term 3 so i guess prob next year will be better i dunno..i'm too tired to think of how to tell my 'beloved' boss..later she will think i failed again..not a scholar wad..for now i want the horrible H1N1 to disappear out..its putting down my spirits..

how i wish i could tell you about it in some way or another.

9:52 PM

     
the exams have started and is almost coming to an end actually..i guess for the students all they wanna do is to get through the entire exam and to some, who cares about the marks..while students now a days are having a heckcare attitude towards their subjects and exams, i wonder and dont think this is happening in all schools..

last year during the same period, i remember having to mark 2 stacks of papers and i got through them pretty quickly actually..however this year, something was bothering me the entire period and i guess i took really really long to complete the stack..imagine initially i was marking at esplanade and plus the 5 hours at coffee bean a few days ago and i couldn't finish 2 stacks of papers!!!as i marked the papers, i could only asked myself is my paper too difficult that the students were having problems doing it?i went to ask my RO the next day and she said the paper was difficult but should be manageable since they are now in sec 2s and not in the honeymoon sec 1..but after she said that i was thinking, on one hand, yes the students should attempt a difficult paper but on the other hand, i think my RO should have told it to me earlier and i would have set a slightly easier paper to not demoralize the kids even further..but finally after almost 2 weeks i have marked the entire stack..sigh relief..

anyway during this period i have managed to talk to a friend regarding my decision to maybe change sch or see wad alternatives there are..though i have not made up my mind but i think i have a slightly clearer picture of things now..and to that friend thank you thank you thank you:)

3:20 PM

     
yesterday i dreamt that i was the 3rd party person..from the start of my sleep to the end, i was the 3rd party and it didn't help that the person involved was someone significant..sigh..

11:40 AM

     
well one trip has been postpone to september though i clearly heard august and i was wrong..luckily its postpone and not cancelled..students were disappointed and even asked me why can't i changed it to august..i dont work at the tour company..anyway patience will lead you to better things and well maybe in september we will have the time of our lives there..

its incredible how much i slept and ate today..the throbbing headache for the past 2 days was so painful today that i practically slept for almost the whole day..i think i am just exhausted with school..

anyway while doing a cip event a few weeks back, a coordinator for the event mentioned i am truly an 'aesthetically inclined person'..haha it sounded super glam when she said it..but then i realised now, what does it mean?haha..

11:23 PM