Thursday, November 20, 2008
1 year ago on this day the 20th nov i was crying my hearts out very badly and for the following months that followed it was still quite bad until i decided to submit myself to do lots of work and slowly it got slightly better..however once in a while the pain sets in again and 1 year later from that faithful day i'm ashamed to announce that it still hurts..it really still hurts but sadly i cannot talk about it anymore like i used to or ppl will say 'its been so long already' and other hurtful comments that follows..and whenever that happens i will just stop talking completely..there are still many things that i do not understand and questions not answered yet and i guess i will never know the answers until one fine day..if that day does comes..maybe 10 years down the road i will read this and laugh at it but for now or specifically today its just a sad crying emo day and i'm not enjoying a single bit of it at all..10:02 PM Thursday, November 13, 2008
yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy all my major projects are finally over!! all i can say is i am finally very relieve..of course God really works in different ways and through prayer and trust, he was really there for me..lets start from Monday..choir had a concert at the conference hall..i would say its their best performance actually for the whole year..was really glad dot dot, shu and lionel was able to make it..liz dont worry there are other concerts for you to go haha..was quite disturbed about the whole concert thingy actually cause of the ticket sales..shall not go into details about it but honestly all i can say is parents now are very different..i think i never had so many parents complaining before and luckily different ppl were there to rescue me from all the terrors..then tues and wed was doing soca project for presentation today..was quite bumped actually when i didn't get to complete my first presentation but the 2nd presentation was better..of course lar i wans't presenting it haha..and lets say when the results were out i was quite surprised that my first presentation got through..and well i'm satisfied with the results lar..my team members were wonderful along the way and i'm just glad its all over! my intention of going home today at 12.30 was not possible as i totally forgot that i had to send in the music projects for competition today man..rushed like mad and managed to talk to the respective ppl about the incidents before heading home..and of course by the time i left sch was 4 argh..i still got my SOWs and proposals to do!!but of course its at a leisure pace now..yay!9:45 PM Thursday, November 06, 2008
while still feeling peeved, i went to read someone's blog..and while reading the blog i just thought of the different situations in the staffroom..and as i reflect and think there are 2 ppl that i would really wanna thank..cause if these 2 ppl weren't there then i think my life in the staffroom would be very dull and lonely..firstly is the lovely arista..she came in together with me to the sch, being in the same batch..if you know me well enough u will know that i am not a very sociable person, friends that i have are always a treasure to me and if they dont backstab me i treasure these friends a lot..arista is one person whom i know i will have a long friendship with..its not about chatting on the phone everyday or making sure we hang out everytime after sch..its can be just a simple thing of waiting for me for lunch knowing that i am doing something while she is dying of hunger..or to be there to cheer me up in the difficult situations that i am in..and in the recent staff dinner when due to an odd situation she sat with me and not with the other group though i know she would love to have the whole group as company..her laughter and nonsense talk sometimes is contagious k that i start talking rubbish also..i guess sometimes she is caught in situations and there are so many things i can say..but the most important thing is just being there for me when i really needed a friend..she and her husband have been wonderful friends to me and i appreciate itthe other person is zi ye..when we had to choose buddy earlier this year as part of a system where a buddy is a colleague whom updates you about staff meetings, or simply just to be there for you, i had the opportunity of having zi ye as my buddy..he is an excellent chinese teacher and yes we sometimes have minor communication problems due to my horrible chinese but he is always there when you need him..he is the other person who patiently sat with me during staff dinner and help all the girls take food when we were away..its all the simple gestures that make me realise who are my friends actually..i do not have to state everything these 2 ppl have done for me..they know it and i know it..and thats enough actually..i just wanna thank them for their lovely friendship and company..especially when that horrible person left me..of course i do not only have 2 friends in the entire staffroom if thats wad you are thinking haha..there are many more other special friends but these two are the more memoriable ones for now and of course not forgetting eddy.10:44 PM yay one project down and a few more to go and soon i can take a well deserved break..today we had the 2nd day of the 3 days review meeting where all data is collected and presented to all teachers about what and how the sch did this year..in a normal situation the hod will present for your team but in my criterion my hod ask a few of us to present the parts that we did..initially there was fear and concern about that..firstly, i have to stand in front and speak to all the teachers, secondly i will have to answer questions that are fired from higher authories on why this and why that..and thirdly what if i dunno how to answer!!!luckily i would say everything went very smoothly..did the editing last night and i was prepared to go to battle this morning..it was good haha..no one ask questions and yes of course there was some changes to be made but no major interrogation like yesterday..yay!!as i watched each hod presenting their reports, it led me to wonder whether will i ever rise up to that position one day..there are many responsibilities a head needs to handle and you need to work well with the ppl under you..yes of course we complain bout this and that about our in charge..but they are humans after all also..they are the ones who will get blame if lets say the results for the entire department drop drastically or will get questioned if something happens to the teachers in their care..well we shall see where i end up next time!haha..but for now i'm sorry to report that i am angry..n since this is my blog i can and will say anything i want n if ppl read it and complain to whoever person that i was complaining about that person then let it be it..i dont really care..lets just say i have 2 projects that i will need to present next thurs..in one team most of the things are on track..in the other team that i am, there are 2 'its'..so 2 'its' vs 2 'its'..unfortunately 'it' is really lazy..i shall not say much about it but i shall just say i dont like ppl to make ppl think they are doing a lot when they have not done anything and at last gain credit for it..with the charm and the smile and 'it' gets creditation?what utter rubbish..while the little girl just smiles and let everyone think she has done the minimal job when in actual fact its the other way around..hmmmmmm arghhhhhh..wadever. i'm glad i gave 'it' the staring down today as 'it' step into sch in the afternoon.. i can be real mean when i meet horrible and lazy ppl..dont believe ask liz, min, shu and gen..even i think dot can answer that..dont step all over me you horrible person.9:45 PM Tuesday, November 04, 2008
today in the midst of my ever crazy work schedule, i went for a 2 hr facial..yes and the fortunate me didn't have to go to any salon or wad, i went to my mom's office to do it cause she is a trained beautician so i get to do as many facials as i want but of course i never got the time to do it until today..it was a good facial, using all the wonderful products n my face getting pampered by the steam, ice blah blah..however.........while having my facial and thinking i can get a well deserved rest, i couldn't! my mind was on work work and more work and my hp was either ringing or the sms were flowing in..out of all times it doesn't want to ring it must ring during my rest time..sianz..and tonight i think it got worst already..due to the current stress at work, my asthma came back and i have been having troubles breathing the whole night..its like i have to take very deep breaths if not as if i will collapse like that so i have been breathing so hard i feel like my lungs cannot take it cause its starting to get painful..actually i know i am working hard..i sound very egoistic as i say that but i really am..like ah pang likes to call me miss yaya haha..but for this 11 months i have been working like crazy to avoid things..its wrong but i still do it and if i keep it up this way i will definately collapse..and as strange as it sounds, i somehow wanna collapse also, collapse so that i can take a well deserve rest..i think i am sounding crazy already so shall stop here..i need my heart to stop beating so fast cause my breathing can't catch up and i need my oxygen mask!!!!! and honestly the best part of it now is i am lagging in my work..gosh10:51 PM
