Insignificant fRumpY, a BEAUTY of her own kind.

Monday, December 31, 2007

its new year eve already..how time really flies..can't wait for 2008 to start and be over with actually though it has not actually really begun..i tried to be ok but its been tough..you would not know how it feels as you were the one who did it..or maybe you know but u dont care..it hurts so badly..God please take me away from this place now really..i am not even trying to live anymore.

9:17 PM

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

its been almost a year since everything started..and now everything has ended..on a lonely christmas night where we are suppose to be celebrating God's birth, i'm here typing this entry feeling sad and lousy..everything that has a starting is suppose to come to an end sooner or later but strangely its so fast that i dont even have time to see it through..why has it really happen..up to today i still do not fully know..you did not give me a chance to see things through..everything is for your benefit only..and while i'm here suffering now you have moved on as if nothing has ever happened..you were someone i thought i could live my life with but perhaps you did not think so..to what extend of pain must i go through..sometimes i just wish a car will knock me down and i will lie there unconscious and do not need to think of anything..its christmas where we are suppose to spread joy to the world..could someone spread some joy to me?

during this period of time i have often ask God why is this happening..this half year has been really a down hill journey..and the only thing that was keeping me saint is gone..so i guess next year is a real challenge that i will either make it or not..and looking at things now honestly..i'm all ready and prepared to give up..im suffering badly..sorry to all my friends whom have been trying to cheer me up and help me..i know going out with me is not as fun as it used to be anymore..i can't help it..home is the only place where i can hide now..hiding and just waiting..maybe it may seem like i'm the foolish one but just let me do it until i'm ready..ready to face the world again..its not that i do not listen to friends advice but probably i just take a longer time swallowing things in..we are both teachers in different field but see how it turned out..comparing to others it may seem just a little thing and i should just move on..but i guess its the love that is making it painful..

wad will become of us?honestly i may be a different person after this whole thing..for good or for bad i do not know..i just do not want you to be a polite friend but you chose to be..as i packed through my stuff on my table and cupboard, i came across a letter that was written to me some time ago..guys never keep promises at all..you only keep promises to your students..i'm in an irritated mood now..for now something is super suspicious n i am highly sure that i'm right bout it..oh well.

11:43 PM

Saturday, December 22, 2007

haven blogged for quite a while n seriously dont think i will be blogging regularly seriously..many turn in events has cause the happy me to be a different person seriously..i dunno how i will turn out to be but i will hate this word FRIEND for a while..thanks to everyone who has been there for me in a way or another helping me to get through this difficult period..its all fatty's fault n i dunno wad to say now.

11:43 PM